Wednesday, December 12, 2007

10 traits of successful geeks

Or why Keven Rose didn't start Digg

1. Bad hygiene
Geeks with ideas that can change the world don't have time to change their clothes, let alone shower.

2. Limited wardrobe
People aren't impressed by the way geeks dress, they're impressed by potential profit. Successful geeks stick to the product, and let others do the talking.

3. No Friends/Social life
Be honest, they're not really your friends, they just put up with you, hoping you make it big and are along for the ride. Get them off your metaphorical coattails (See #2) before they drain both time and money.

4. Hair
Facial or cranial, it's an excellent insulator, and gives geeks a certain wisdom that's usually reserved for religious figures.

5. The gut
True geeks can't be bothered with meals. Instead, they use their abdominal energy reserves to press on with their development.

6. The slouch
It effectively doubles screen size, increasing productivity as much as a second monitor.

7. No cooking
One word: ramen.

8. Preference for minimal lighting
Like ditsy blondes, geeks are distracted by shiny things. The fewer distractions, the more work gets done. That, and it hides #1, #2, #4, #5, and #6.

9. Parents' basement
See #8. No rent, free food, free electric, and dark--the perfect environment for geek success.

10. Lack of MMORPG addiction
This is what separates the garden variety geeks from the uber geeks. Success and WoW go together like geeks and girls; it's that bad.

I give you the Alpha Geek:

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